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What You Can Grow

What You Can Grow

Nurturing new patterns with small, steady care

You’ve started noticing what’s already growing in your inner garden—the thoughts that keep circling, the beliefs that tighten around your choices, the emotions that come and go like weather. You’re seeing the terrain. That alone is a powerful shift.

Now it’s time to tend it.

You don’t need to overhaul everything or force a sudden transformation. In fact, the most lasting change usually starts with small, honest movements: planting a different thought. Trusting a new feeling. Letting one old belief soften around the edges. This isn’t about self-improvement. It’s about self-relationship.

Amend the soil

You begin by changing the conditions around your thoughts. You imagine the possibility that your inner world can support something gentler, more nourishing. When a belief shows up that once kept you safe but now keeps you small, you meet it with curiosity. You ask: What else might be true? What would I love to grow here instead?

These aren’t questions for your best days. They’re for the moments when it all feels a little hard. When your first instinct is to withdraw, apologize, or disappear. That’s when the soil is most ready for something new.

Choose a tool that matches the season

You don’t have to use every method, every time. This is a garden, not a lab.

Sometimes you Leap: you act as if a new belief is already true. You walk a little taller. You reach out, even when you feel unsure. You play the role of someone who trusts herself—just enough to see what happens.

Sometimes you go HOme: you pause, breathe, and ask for a little help from something bigger. You listen inwardly for direction, like a root listening for water.

Sometimes you Imagine: not as fantasy, but as rehearsal. You picture yourself responding differently. You feel the new pattern as if it’s already part of you.

Sometimes you GO (Generate the Opposite): you catch yourself in a painful loop and plant a counter-thought. Not to argue, but to balance, or even just to see how it feels. To give yourself another path forward.

Each tool is a way of softening the soil around something that wants to grow. Each one—and others—will be explored more deeply in future posts, so you can find what works for you.

Follow signs of life

You don’t need proof before you plant. You need practice.

You might notice that when you affirm your safety, your breathing slows. When you remember your strength, you feel a little taller. When you name your truth, your voice steadies. These are signs that something inside you is shifting—not because you’re forcing it, but because you’re creating the right conditions.

Tend without pressure

There will be dry days. There will be weeds again. That’s part of the rhythm.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about contact. Each time you check in, each time you choose a gentler belief, each time you trust your own rhythm—you strengthen your root system.

You don’t have to get it right. You just have to return.

And over time, you’ll notice something beautiful: the garden starts to feel more like home.

To support this, you can return to the daily noticing practice outlined in What You Notice —a way of naming what’s present without judgment, and opening the door to something new.

Then take a moment to name the opposites—just enough to offer yourself a different path:

  • A new thought you’d like to grow
  • A belief that supports healing or possibility
  • An emotion you’d love to feel instead

And finally, choose a tool. This part matters.
Pick one small way to nourish something new:

  • Will you Leap and try acting from the new belief?
  • Will you GO and generate the opposite?
  • Will you Imagine something gentler?
  • Will you return HOme and ask for help?

This is how you change what isn’t working. It’s like giving water to a dried-out plant. It doesn’t have to be dramatic—just intentional.

Put it on your calendar if you like. Return later. Play with it. You’re not trying to fix yourself—you’re learning to care for your garden.

Categories
Auto-thoughts Beliefs Consequences Course Episodes Discourse Emotions Family GO HOme Imagine JI Markers Tools

Start Here: How to Explore the Blog & Core Curriculum

The image below shows an example of the kind of inner change this site is here to support.

Our minds don’t always do “order,” do they?

When I used to help parents with kids who were struggling, I’d always come back to two trusty guides: structure and consistency. The more things were falling apart, the more those two helped hold things together.

Turns out, the same thing applies when your mind is the one throwing the tantrum.

Structure means getting to know the core elements I’ll introduce here—simple, powerful pieces that work together to create awareness and change. You’ll start by using Markers to spot what’s going on beneath the surface, then apply Tools to help shift what isn’t working. These all come together in three main parts:

  • Markers – little clues that help surface what’s been buried underground. They pull up patterns, beliefs, emotions, and other sneaky things that run the show.
  • Tools – ways to shift what the Markers reveal. These are practices, reframes, and approaches to help change the stuff that’s not serving you.
  • Plots – the where of your life: career, relationships, body, spiritual path. And the when things shift moments—the plot twists, unexpected challenges, and growth edges that invite you to rethink your path. Plots are where the work gets real—and rich with meaning.

Consistency just means bringing these elements into some kind of rhythm—something that helps you understand what’s really going on, and lets that understanding spark change. It might be a daily practice, a go-to strategy for when emotions run high, or simply a gentle way to track your growth over time.

No pressure. No perfection. Just a set of solid stepping stones for those of us who like to wander with a map and a sense of adventure.

So go ahead—pick a post that speaks to you. Follow a trail of breadcrumbs. Or just poke around and see what finds you.


To explore by topic, head to the bottom of the blog page where you’ll find a list of categories.

Auto-Thoughts

Quick, automatic thoughts that pop up in daily life—often shaped by old beliefs and past experiences.