Categories
Course Episodes Practices

What You Can Grow

What You Can Grow

Nurturing new patterns with small, steady care

You’ve started noticing what’s already growing in your inner garden—the thoughts that keep circling, the beliefs that tighten around your choices, the emotions that come and go like weather. You’re seeing the terrain. That alone is a powerful shift.

Now it’s time to tend it.

You don’t need to overhaul everything or force a sudden transformation. In fact, the most lasting change usually starts with small, honest movements: planting a different thought. Trusting a new feeling. Letting one old belief soften around the edges. This isn’t about self-improvement. It’s about self-relationship.

Amend the soil

You begin by changing the conditions around your thoughts. You imagine the possibility that your inner world can support something gentler, more nourishing. When a belief shows up that once kept you safe but now keeps you small, you meet it with curiosity. You ask: What else might be true? What would I love to grow here instead?

These aren’t questions for your best days. They’re for the moments when it all feels a little hard. When your first instinct is to withdraw, apologize, or disappear. That’s when the soil is most ready for something new.

Choose a tool that matches the season

You don’t have to use every method, every time. This is a garden, not a lab.

Sometimes you Leap: you act as if a new belief is already true. You walk a little taller. You reach out, even when you feel unsure. You play the role of someone who trusts herself—just enough to see what happens.

Sometimes you go HOme: you pause, breathe, and ask for a little help from something bigger. You listen inwardly for direction, like a root listening for water.

Sometimes you Imagine: not as fantasy, but as rehearsal. You picture yourself responding differently. You feel the new pattern as if it’s already part of you.

Sometimes you GO (Generate the Opposite): you catch yourself in a painful loop and plant a counter-thought. Not to argue, but to balance, or even just to see how it feels. To give yourself another path forward.

Each tool is a way of softening the soil around something that wants to grow. Each one—and others—will be explored more deeply in future posts, so you can find what works for you.

Follow signs of life

You don’t need proof before you plant. You need practice.

You might notice that when you affirm your safety, your breathing slows. When you remember your strength, you feel a little taller. When you name your truth, your voice steadies. These are signs that something inside you is shifting—not because you’re forcing it, but because you’re creating the right conditions.

Tend without pressure

There will be dry days. There will be weeds again. That’s part of the rhythm.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about contact. Each time you check in, each time you choose a gentler belief, each time you trust your own rhythm—you strengthen your root system.

You don’t have to get it right. You just have to return.

And over time, you’ll notice something beautiful: the garden starts to feel more like home.

To support this, you can return to the daily noticing practice outlined in What You Notice —a way of naming what’s present without judgment, and opening the door to something new.

Then take a moment to name the opposites—just enough to offer yourself a different path:

  • A new thought you’d like to grow
  • A belief that supports healing or possibility
  • An emotion you’d love to feel instead

And finally, choose a tool. This part matters.
Pick one small way to nourish something new:

  • Will you Leap and try acting from the new belief?
  • Will you GO and generate the opposite?
  • Will you Imagine something gentler?
  • Will you return HOme and ask for help?

This is how you change what isn’t working. It’s like giving water to a dried-out plant. It doesn’t have to be dramatic—just intentional.

Put it on your calendar if you like. Return later. Play with it. You’re not trying to fix yourself—you’re learning to care for your garden.

Categories
Nature Nudges

Welcome the Weeds: What Repeats in the Garden and the Mind

The “Welcome Weeds” garden is a bit of an experiment—but also a return. Foraging is what we once did before we farmed. It’s what we forgot, and now remember again. This garden echoes a deeper rhythm.

Today, it’s doing what gardens do in September here in the Midwest: preparing for winter. Seeds form. Leaves dry. The plants go dormant. What repeats in the garden mirrors what repeats in the mind—and both need tending.

The sun is back after a morning rain. Beetles hover over stinging nettle blossoms. The deer have eaten some blooms, as they always do. One day I had a brilliant red amaranth; the next, it was gone. Nature gives and takes. Patterns emerge. We learn to live in relationship with what repeats.

But not every weed deserves space. Some are toxic or invasive. Left alone, they take over. They grow into something so dominant that the original garden is lost beneath them. That’s when I intervene.

I love checking for new seedlings—especially in spring. That early moment of discernment—what to keep, what to pull—is one of the most important. It’s the same in the mind. The same in the heart. Wild lettuce, stinging nettle, plantain: plants I once dismissed now offer healing. But I had to learn which ones carried nutrients, and which simply crowded everything else out.

And here’s what I’ve come to understand: welcoming weeds is also about welcoming adversity. The uninvited thing that shows up—challenging, disruptive, possibly nourishing. The twist in the plot. The discomfort that reveals something hidden. That, too, is worthy of curiosity. Sometimes adversity is a message. Sometimes, a mineral-rich truth.

As a therapist—and someone who lives with anxiety—I know what it means to let certain thoughts root too deeply. We all carry repeating beliefs, like mental vines, twisting around everything else:

  • I’m not good enough.

  • I’m not safe.

  • What will they think?

  • I can’t…

  • I have to…

These inner seedlings float in, take hold, and bloom—often without our permission. So I’ve learned to walk through my mind the same way I walk through my garden: with attention, with choice.

Repeat sadness? Sure, but not endlessly.
Repeat joy? Yes, but not with a grasping hand.
Nourish the ego? Maybe, but not at the expense of soul.

In both spaces, I weed often. I notice what’s repeating, what’s helping, and what’s quietly taking over. I don’t aim for perfection. There will always be intrusions—sudden downpours, hungry deer, thoughts that sting. But I’ve learned that weeding is a practice, not a solution. It’s a rhythm, not a rule.

Some days, especially in times of depression or obsessive thinking, the mind feels like a garden gone wild. Thoughts repeat so fiercely they seem impossible to uproot. But even then, even in the most overgrown moment, I can still notice. I can still pause. And sometimes, that’s enough.

The act of weeding—inner or outer—is not about force. It’s about relationship. Observation. Choice. I don’t pull every weed. I don’t challenge every belief. But I do ask: Is this serving something? Is it nutrient-rich? Or is it choking out what I most want to grow?

Sometimes, the weeds of life are what feed us best. They bring depth. Texture. Unexpected medicine. But they require discernment—and repeated attention.

So I return again and again, to the garden, to the mind. I notice what repeats. I choose what to nourish. I pull what no longer belongs.

 

And in doing so, I remember: I am the one who tends this place. I decide what grows here.

Auto-Thoughts

Quick, automatic thoughts that pop up in daily life—often shaped by old beliefs and past experiences.